After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
And company doesn’t mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
And presents aren’t promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes open
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn…
That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure…
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth…
And you learn and learn…
With every good-bye you learn.
— Jorge Luis Borges, “You Learn”, trans. Veronica A. Shoffstall
“Will Do,” TV On The Radio
“I’ll be there to take care of you if ever you should decide that you don’t want to waste your life in the middle of a lovesick lullaby.”
I dream of a place between your breasts
to build my house like a haven
where I plant crops
in your body
an endless harvest
where the commonest rock
is moonstone and ebony opal
giving milk to all of my hungers
and your night comes down upon me
like a nurturing rain. (1997)
If you haven’t bought your sweetheart a holiday gift yet let me suggest these last-minute pleasers:
*Jewelry. I love jewelry. Especially when purchased with thoughtfulness. Jewelry is the gift you can give a person who has everything. One of the best things my recent ex got me was a cheap (like $4 at F21) but beautiful pair of feather earrings.
*Flowers. Flowers always go down well, especially for me. One of the things that made my recent ex and I incompatible was that she thought giving flowers was generic. IT IS NOT GENERIC. They are thoughtful and smell great and in NYC you can get flowers at the bodega for not a lot of money. Flowers make the recipient feel special. Pay attention to the kind of flowers they like. BUY THEM FLOWERS. MAKE THEM FLOWERS OUT OF NAPKINS.
*A personal performance of Stevie Wonder’s “My Cherie Amour.” I have sort of determined that one of the cheesiest/most romantic things someone can do is a rendition on any instrument, but preferably the tenor sax or something uber 80s, or acapella, of this Stevie classic. It is romantic and cheesy and putting yourself out there like that (a la standing in a trench coat holding a boom box over your head) is super romantic and a great no/low cost gift.
You can watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button right now on Netflix watch instantly. I just watched it for the first time and highly recommend it. These days I’m only watching romances I suppose. It’s winter time.
I have about 6 versions of the above-dress, some shorter, some longer, some sleeveless, some cotton, but that is precisely the kind of red dress I want to acquire. I want one in emerald green as well.
Sometimes sunsets are so beautiful I wish I had someone to kiss in front of them. But then the beauty of the sunset might get eclipsed by the romance and really, the sunset is the Goddess’ show.
Terry Richardson and Tom Ford.
